This is very hard

It is very hard and very painful to be off of medications that took the pain away. They also took my life away! Today my stomach is so upset I have been sick twice. My jaw hurts. My shoulders hurt. My knees hurt. My hands hurt!!!!! My back hurts. All in all, it all hurts. I am very tired. I want to be productive and exciting but it is so hard today. I prepared the house for Joice's 12Th birthday party. They are all so cute. I keep going up to take pictures, but come back down because I don't want them to see that Joice's mom is in pain. As I was reading this morning, I read about anger. It is OK for me to be angry every once in a while. I try so hard to be positive and not bitter, but this is very painful and difficult. I feel so tired and feel like I could sleep for days, but am awakened every hour because of something. I also read about guilt today. It is OK for me to have rough days. I strive to have a better day tomorrow. If I can meditate myself out of this it might help. Keeping a positive mindset is so important!