Attitude is Everything... BE HAPPY
I have had a lot of email lately asking me " Alyssa, why haven't you updated you blog"... Well I went over it in my mind and thought.... Do I want people to know what is really going on with me, or do I want to make sure that they hear no negative and only positive? Then I remembered the promise I made to myself... I WILL ALWAYS BE HONEST AND NOT CARE WHO READS THIS, IT JUST MIGHT HELP SOMEONE!
Well my life has been changing. For quite a long time. It is an emotional roller coaster that I am coming to grips with. I don't really know how or why I got here but I will do my best to embrace where I am going.
So for now this is what I have to say.....For a really long time I have looked in the mirror wondering who I saw. Is the face I saw looking back at me ... me
She is a collaboration of many years. Many trials. Many tears. Many decisions. Many fears, a lot of getting to know... me
I am happy with the the women that looks back at me. I know that she has a lot to offer, and give to others. I know that she is a good mother, friend, sister, daughter, aunt, partner and much more.
I might not be what the normal says to be, but I am real. I am a good person and happy about who I am. I want to help other people. I want them to learn from my mistakes and grow. I want to be involved in their growth and development. I want them to know me and know that I have been there and that I understand and will not judge them.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Emotions and Pain
Attitude is Everything... BE HAPPY
When you really break it down, yes it makes sense, Emotions are linked with pain.
A little experiment I have been putting on myself lately is this.... I am consciously becoming aware of times when I am in less pain than others. I notice when I am around certain people or places that are secure and comfortable, happy, full of laughter or exciting, that I don't focus so much on the pain. Now that I am consciously thinking about it, there have been a few times that I have not thought about it at all.
When I am in a tense, unhappy, chaotic place, situation, or around negative people, the focus comes back to the pain.
The pain is never actually gone, but how much I focus on it is another thing.
When the weather is going to change, I should be the weather man. I feel it in all my bones days before. I have been working really hard lately and taking the energy that I have and using it full force instead of pacing myself. So last night I crashed at 8pm. I was so tired it overwhelmed me. I just wanted to be in a dark place, away from everything and be alone.
I went to bed and put my CVR on as I do every night. As I was going through the session and achieving the relaxing state that I needed, all of a sudden I could hear kids and dogs and the normal sounds of the evening in the background. These are all normal sounds expected to be heard in a house full of people and animals. But I realized I was all tensed up in a ball. All of a sudden my focus went to the emotion of the moment and it caused stress and anxiety. That stress and anxiety caused me to focus on the pain. Then I paused for a minute and asked that the door be closed. When nobody heard me I yelled "Please Close my door". Yelling caused even more awareness of pain.( in fact just writing this makes me focus on it and I am paying attention to the pain in my hands and the head ache.)
So yelling and screaming don't help! Even as a mother with dogs and kids, screaming yelling and fighting does the exact opposite of what you are trying to achieve. HARMONY! We need to take time everyday for ourselves. This is not selfish. Putting yourself first actually makes you better. If you don't take care of you, then how can you take care of others.
It is important for your health and happiness.
I used to think, "If I yell than someone will hear me". Wrong! It just turns up the tension in the room causing everything to shut down and the walls of communication are built and then in reality.... NO ONE IS LISTENING!
Getting back to my pain is linked with emotion topic... So tonight I went for an infrared body wrap with CVR session together. It helped so much. The setting was calm, soothing, patient and harmonious. I used the ( How to reduce stress and anxiety) series. I needed to be reminded that I am in control of me. Not the pain, not the world around me.. I am in control.
As I was listening to the session it made sense. I was listening to a very soothing voice and subconsciously he was saying things to me to think about the positive aspects of who I am and taking care of my body. Not one negative word was spoken.
I was not focusing any longer on the pain that I had originally come in for. My joints were warm, calmed, and I was able to really focus on achieving the goal I had set for myself. Positive situations, people, space, energy, have so much to do with where your focus is and what your focus is on.
Another situation that I have become totally conscious of is laughter. Laughter is like natures tranquiler. When we laugh we are suddenly not anxious, depressed, or focusing on the pain. Our brains release chemicals that stimulate us instead of depress us.
If you know me, you would know that I will laugh at just about anything. I in fact love to laugh.
I have had a lot on my mind lately, which causes stress and anxiety. Pain causes stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety produce depression. Depression makes us focus on the pain, in turn repeating the ugly cycle of focusing on the pain.
Changing the situation , atmosphere, people, or whatever the case may be puts the focus elsewhere.
So emotion can be used to focus on the bad or focus on the good. Let's weigh the pros and cons of using emotions for bad and emotions for good.
Emotion Pro
- laughter
- focus on positive
- feel better
- look better ( people can read every emotion you have like a red flag on you forehead)
- live longer
- be more productive
- seek harmony, peace, and security
- have more friends
- be a better partner
- be a positive example
- sleep better
- look better ( did you know it takes more muscles in your face and neck to frown than it does to smile)
( so you get my point )
Cons of emotion
- no sleep
- focus on pain
- look bad
- people don't want to be around you
Obviously using emotion to help control pain, anxiety, fear, and depression in a positive way gives us so much more than focusing on the negative.
Positive affirmations everyday. Constant focus on the good will attract happiness, peace, and harmony.
So go ahead and LAUGH! It is natures medicine.
I like this poem about laughter...
Life can be hard to live sometimes
In the daily rush to do this and do that
Let us not forget to use the free gift we have
The gift of laughter
When times are hard, when all you can see is the dark
It is easier to close your eyes and just give up
Start looking for the rainbow
That brightens even the greyest sky
Even in moments so sad
Find something that will make you smile
Remember times that make you happy
Remember the clown that made you laugh
Make this journey a memorable one
Not just for yourselves but for others too
And do not forget to use your free gift
The gift of laughter
By Shaheen Darr
When you really break it down, yes it makes sense, Emotions are linked with pain.
A little experiment I have been putting on myself lately is this.... I am consciously becoming aware of times when I am in less pain than others. I notice when I am around certain people or places that are secure and comfortable, happy, full of laughter or exciting, that I don't focus so much on the pain. Now that I am consciously thinking about it, there have been a few times that I have not thought about it at all.
When I am in a tense, unhappy, chaotic place, situation, or around negative people, the focus comes back to the pain.
The pain is never actually gone, but how much I focus on it is another thing.
When the weather is going to change, I should be the weather man. I feel it in all my bones days before. I have been working really hard lately and taking the energy that I have and using it full force instead of pacing myself. So last night I crashed at 8pm. I was so tired it overwhelmed me. I just wanted to be in a dark place, away from everything and be alone.
I went to bed and put my CVR on as I do every night. As I was going through the session and achieving the relaxing state that I needed, all of a sudden I could hear kids and dogs and the normal sounds of the evening in the background. These are all normal sounds expected to be heard in a house full of people and animals. But I realized I was all tensed up in a ball. All of a sudden my focus went to the emotion of the moment and it caused stress and anxiety. That stress and anxiety caused me to focus on the pain. Then I paused for a minute and asked that the door be closed. When nobody heard me I yelled "Please Close my door". Yelling caused even more awareness of pain.( in fact just writing this makes me focus on it and I am paying attention to the pain in my hands and the head ache.)
So yelling and screaming don't help! Even as a mother with dogs and kids, screaming yelling and fighting does the exact opposite of what you are trying to achieve. HARMONY! We need to take time everyday for ourselves. This is not selfish. Putting yourself first actually makes you better. If you don't take care of you, then how can you take care of others.
It is important for your health and happiness.
I used to think, "If I yell than someone will hear me". Wrong! It just turns up the tension in the room causing everything to shut down and the walls of communication are built and then in reality.... NO ONE IS LISTENING!
Getting back to my pain is linked with emotion topic... So tonight I went for an infrared body wrap with CVR session together. It helped so much. The setting was calm, soothing, patient and harmonious. I used the ( How to reduce stress and anxiety) series. I needed to be reminded that I am in control of me. Not the pain, not the world around me.. I am in control.
As I was listening to the session it made sense. I was listening to a very soothing voice and subconsciously he was saying things to me to think about the positive aspects of who I am and taking care of my body. Not one negative word was spoken.
I was not focusing any longer on the pain that I had originally come in for. My joints were warm, calmed, and I was able to really focus on achieving the goal I had set for myself. Positive situations, people, space, energy, have so much to do with where your focus is and what your focus is on.
Another situation that I have become totally conscious of is laughter. Laughter is like natures tranquiler. When we laugh we are suddenly not anxious, depressed, or focusing on the pain. Our brains release chemicals that stimulate us instead of depress us.
If you know me, you would know that I will laugh at just about anything. I in fact love to laugh.
I have had a lot on my mind lately, which causes stress and anxiety. Pain causes stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety produce depression. Depression makes us focus on the pain, in turn repeating the ugly cycle of focusing on the pain.
Changing the situation , atmosphere, people, or whatever the case may be puts the focus elsewhere.
So emotion can be used to focus on the bad or focus on the good. Let's weigh the pros and cons of using emotions for bad and emotions for good.
Emotion Pro
- laughter
- focus on positive
- feel better
- look better ( people can read every emotion you have like a red flag on you forehead)
- live longer
- be more productive
- seek harmony, peace, and security
- have more friends
- be a better partner
- be a positive example
- sleep better
- look better ( did you know it takes more muscles in your face and neck to frown than it does to smile)
( so you get my point )
Cons of emotion
- no sleep
- focus on pain
- look bad
- people don't want to be around you
Obviously using emotion to help control pain, anxiety, fear, and depression in a positive way gives us so much more than focusing on the negative.
Positive affirmations everyday. Constant focus on the good will attract happiness, peace, and harmony.
So go ahead and LAUGH! It is natures medicine.
I like this poem about laughter...
Life can be hard to live sometimes
In the daily rush to do this and do that
Let us not forget to use the free gift we have
The gift of laughter
When times are hard, when all you can see is the dark
It is easier to close your eyes and just give up
Start looking for the rainbow
That brightens even the greyest sky
Even in moments so sad
Find something that will make you smile
Remember times that make you happy
Remember the clown that made you laugh
Make this journey a memorable one
Not just for yourselves but for others too
And do not forget to use your free gift
The gift of laughter
By Shaheen Darr
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Has my journey just begun?
Attitude is Everything... BE HAPPY
I am going to write this in my feelings. Not knowing or caring who is reading it. So I will say exactly what is coming to my mind as it comes.
Some days you feel defeated! Some days you feel strong. Some days you don't know why tears flow from your eyes and there is no reason to cry. Sometimes there is a reason to cry.
Some days you go minute by minute. Some days are second by second. Some, are hour by hour.
I have to take a step back and realize where I have been and the road I am traveling now.
No matter what anyone says to you...no matter what words are said to open wounds you are trying to heal... Remember that someone loves you! Even if it is a girl who writes a blog from miles away.... someone loves you!
You are not Alone. You are worth it! You do your very best everyday to be the best YOU, that YOU can be.
Remember that even in the darkest of times there is always someone that loves you, appreciates you, and would never hurt you. Even if you feel pain, or loss.. Remember that you are loved.
Love is a special thing that you can share. Love is not judgmental. Love listens. Love, loves you just the way you are. Love never asks you to change... because love, is love.
Be The Best At Whatever you are.
If you can't be a pine
on the top of the hill,
Be a shrub in the valley-
but be the best little shrub
this side of the hill;
Be a bush if you cannot be a tree.
If you can't be a bush,
be a bit of grass-
some highway happier make;
If you can't be a muskie,
then just be a bass,
but the liveliest bass
in the lake.
We can't all be captains,
we've got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here,
There's big work to do,
and there's lesser to do,
and the task we must do is the near.
If you can't be a highway
then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun,
be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or fail-
BE THE BEST AT WHATEVER YOU ARE
- Douglas Mallcoh
Friday, April 2, 2010
I Need Heat
I do like several things about Utah. I think having four seasons is beautiful. The other day was so warm. Tulips bloomed in my yard. Finally spring has arrived. WRONG! This is Utah. It is bone chilling cold. My hands are swollen and hurt. My neck hurts. Cold weather.... PLEASE GO AWAY! If cold weather wasn't so painful for my joints I could go enjoy it.
As I sit here at 1 am I am listening to beautiful violin music. I want to play again so badly. I want to be able to pick up the violin and play for hours like I used to. It was such an emotional release to be able to be creative and make music that would just come to my mind. I miss it.
I sat with Mason tonight and had a fun experience with music. We were watching a concert on DVD, and I love to sing. Mason also loves to sing. He sings all the time. It was fun to sit there and see him learn to use his voice . I was teaching him about using your breath correctly. Using your diaphragm for power and strength.
I have noticed that during this up and down weather Mason's stress level is a lot like mine. We are happy one minute then in a ball of pain the next. Mason came unglued with emotion tonight. After the "episode" he asked me if I would please go get the CVR because he has so much pain and so much on his mind that he knew it would help. He was asleep with in minutes.
I really have been blessed with such creative children. They both are so artistic and talented.
The only reason I am still awake is because it was so cold today that I had to stay in bed. So my day and night is mixed up.
Attitude is Everything... BE HAPPY
As I sit here at 1 am I am listening to beautiful violin music. I want to play again so badly. I want to be able to pick up the violin and play for hours like I used to. It was such an emotional release to be able to be creative and make music that would just come to my mind. I miss it.
I sat with Mason tonight and had a fun experience with music. We were watching a concert on DVD, and I love to sing. Mason also loves to sing. He sings all the time. It was fun to sit there and see him learn to use his voice . I was teaching him about using your breath correctly. Using your diaphragm for power and strength.
I have noticed that during this up and down weather Mason's stress level is a lot like mine. We are happy one minute then in a ball of pain the next. Mason came unglued with emotion tonight. After the "episode" he asked me if I would please go get the CVR because he has so much pain and so much on his mind that he knew it would help. He was asleep with in minutes.
I really have been blessed with such creative children. They both are so artistic and talented.
The only reason I am still awake is because it was so cold today that I had to stay in bed. So my day and night is mixed up.
Attitude is Everything... BE HAPPY
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